Peer Pressure and Comparison... It's Insane.


At 19 years old, I've never been in a serious relationship, have never had sex, rarely drink alcohol, and never been to a night club. The majority of my friends at school, had done all of these things before we even graduated. They thoroughly enjoyed getting so drunk they wouldn't remember the night before, and spending every weekend going to clubs. They also all had somewhat serious relationships, and some had even gone as far as losing their virginity to someone they probably aren't still dating. 

Did I want to do those things and be like them? Not really. 

Throughout the period of time between year 10 and graduating in year 12, I constantly saw the events in which these behaviors affected my friends, how girls were so desperate to have a boyfriend at 17 years old, but were constantly faced with the drama when said boy was not to loyal them. They would cry, scream, swear and gossip about how he was a no good guy, and talk about how much of a slut the other unfaithful girl was, but fail to realise that it was there own actions and decisions that got them in these types of situations in the first place. 

When I was in Year 11, I really liked this guy. And when my friends found out, they took it upon themselves to run our relationship for us. One girl told me that I should change the way I look so he would like me, that I should wear my school skirt shorter and buy some lacy bras to wear under my school uniform so he would be more attracted to me. My friends even pressured us to have our first kiss together, something I knew in my heart I probably wasn't prepared for, but did anyway because of my friends pressure. 

Some girls would even come to school, and brag about the times they slept with their partners. Like, seriously, when did it become cool to come to school and let all your friends know that you lost your virginity and it was amazing? I really think some girls felt the pressure from this, as time and time again, more girls in my group, would start talking about their first time. 

From what I've heard from them too, clubbing was the most incredible thing ever, once you turned 18. They would tell tales of how much they drank, random men they tried hooking up with and how they would dance and drink until they couldn't remember what day it was.

Doesn't sound all that incredible to me. 

Peer pressure and the comparison between young women is insane. Why do I have to be and act like you? Why at 16 or 17 years old, should I already be desperate for a boyfriend, getting absolutely wasted and spending all my weekends at nightclubs? Seriously, I can think of so many better things to do. At such a young age, we shouldn't feel the need to rush into these situations, especially if its only because our friends are doing these things. I'd rather be sitting on the couch on a Saturday night, watching trashy TV shows and eating chips with my mum. 

Young girls need to understand that instead of pressuring, comparing, and competing with each other, we should support each other's decisions and actions. It's seriously not the end of the world if you don't have a boyfriend, and all your friends do, or if your friends spend all their free time going clubbing and you don't want to, then don't! Its really that simple. 

You are exactly where you need to be right now, and all these things will happen in their own time. Just because they are doing all these crazy things now, doesn't mean your time will never come, it just means that bigger and better are coming in the future. For now, you just do you, you'll be so much better off and happier because of it. 

Much love, 

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